The Grinch Who Stole Politics

                So some of you may be relieved to know my wife, Barb, and I survived our California vacation. We did all the touristy things in San Diego—SeaWorld; The San Diego Zoo; The Safari Park; the USS Midway museum; a couple of harbor cruises; took in a Padres game; Coronado Beach; sat on our patio drinking beer and singing along with Frankie Valli on my Jam Touch (we may have been the only tourists we saw doing that.)

                It was fun, and as advertised, the weather was great. However, I know I have been to California at least 15 times because that’s how many sweatshirts and hoodies I have that say “California” on them. It is always cooler there in the evening than I think it is going to be.

                A couple observations about California and Californians: What struck me first of all is there are a lot of them. In San Diego County, 3.3 million of them. A drop in the bucket compared to L.A. or San Francisco but enough to make it hard for me to breathe at times. It’s a personal thing, not a criticism.

                Oh, and they all have cars. Which made the value of a parking space anywhere remarkably precious in ways it is difficult to relate to in other parts of the country. We drove around La Jolla one afternoon for 45 minutes just trying to find a place to put the car. Another afternoon we were lucky enough to find a place 2 blocks from our restaurant in Little Italy (it’s centered around India Street in San Diego, which seems like it should be odd) but between being early and in no hurry to leave we had to feed the meter a couple of times.

                Once you find a space you do not leave. I am uncertain for how long. The resort we stayed at was across the street from the San Diego County Fair and on our early morning walks to the beach we saw some of the same cars parked in some of the same spots for most of the week.

                Some of them had clothes and blankets and trash filling most of the car except the driver’s seat. One of them was a BMW. I’m not judging, I’m just curious.

                The second thing was that almost everyone we met was really friendly and kind of normal.

                Oh, to be sure there were some nut jobs and we overheard some leftist conversations that made it hard to finish a meal or two but for the most part people were great. We didn’t see anyone dragging bloody Trump heads down the street or carrying baseball bats looking for conservatives to beat. Not even a single Molotov cocktail, but we tried to stay in nicer areas.

                We did see one #onlyblacklivesmatter t-shirt at the Padres game but the guy looked like he could kick my ass so I didn’t even make eye contact with him. My days of staring down tough guys are at least a dozen years or so in my rearview mirror.

                We ran into one woman whose family owns a ranch in Yuma, AZ. She spends her winters there but spends warmer months with her kids in San Diego or at her summer place in Prescott, AZ, because it gets over 120 degrees in Yuma in the summer and she just couldn’t take the heat. I don’t blame her.

                In fact, it gets so hot they “can’t even get white people to work on their ranch anymore.” Whatever are they going to do when “Trump gets rid of all the illegals.”

That is wrong and racist on so many levels my head almost exploded but I did promise Barb to keep my mouth shut on politics for a week and so I did.

But here are the show stoppers; the things that rocked my world and caused me to rethink the origin of the universe:          

We were at Sea World in the morning right when they opened. Apparently 364 days a year (they’re closed on Christmas) they play the National Anthem a few minutes after they open. No, really. The same one we listen to. The Star Spangled one.

And almost everyone stopped and faced the gigantic flag and pole with hats off and hands over their hearts. I was certain they were playing it just to expose conservatives, but no, almost everyone stopped and stood still. There were lots of foreigners there—huge tourist attraction—and even they stopped walking and were respectful. I have no idea what they were saying but have no reason to believe it was evil.           

And then at Petco Park at the Padres game I was up on the concourse purchasing a couple of adult beverages when they played it again and the same thing happened: almost everybody stopped and removed their hats and placed hands over hearts and faced the field. Sure, there were a few jerks who kept walking and talking but we see that in Denver too. I suspect those idiots exist everywhere.

Honestly folks I felt like The Grinch when he stands atop Mount Crumpet Christmas morning waiting to hear the Who’s wail and instead hears the old “Welcome Christmas. Wa-Hoo Doray” song.

                Maybe liberals, I thought, don’t all hate the flag.

                Perhaps many, in fact, should not make me gag.

                They are all singing—not one has a bat

                To beat conservative men who are old, white and fat.

                It can’t be this simple. How could it be?

                That we both love America and just disagree?

                I do think I know an answer although it is painful to admit my own guilt. I think we are all affected by what passes for media these days playing “let’s you and him fight.”

                Every single media outlet is claiming record viewing numbers, from CNN to Fox News. America is tuning in to see who did or said what outrageous thing today and the wish-we-were-journalists are giving us all of it we can digest whether it’s true or not.

                I think that is more a result of supply and demand capitalism at work for ratings than it is either side merely advancing their political agendas although that’s what they think they’re doing.

                The media on the left continues to show us beatings, riots, burnings and beheadings to reinforce their own outrage (I’m talking about the media more than the typical liberal) and parading a bunch of who-gives-a-damn-Hollywood-airheads in front of cameras to give us their well-educated and sharply honed political opinions or simply to volunteer to assassinate the President of The United States of America.

                They are certain that at any moment we on the right will come to our senses and “join the revolution.” They remain oblivious to the fact that what they show us reinforces our outrage at a bunch of ungrateful, American-hating, disrespectful, parasitic ne’er do wells.

                They leftwing media are such geniuses that they remain oblivious to the fact that it was just this “reporting” strategy that gave Donald Trump $2 billion worth of totally free media coverage and got him elected president. Unless of course you are still hoping that somehow the Russians did it.

                The media on the right continues to show us Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters raving about past presidents creating current havoc, 750 billion people dying from being in the same country with republicans, and conservatives hiding their car keys because they were here just a minute ago, damnit. They have Alzheimer’s for God’s sake. Even though liberals are stupid enough to keep electing them it doesn’t mean they are all as stupid as them.

                They may be dumb enough to believe that what Chuck Schumer says today is what he will say in three months but we have guys like that too with their own fan clubs (Paul Ryan).

                My point is that even though we know the media is a bunch of unethical, lying pigs, we allow ourselves to be duped by them daily. And it’s hard not to be. We all want our core beliefs reinforced and the media is totally willing to provide that no matter which side you’re on.

                Don’t get me wrong, I think an agenda of strict liberalism would be the death of this country (see a California financial statement or the end of history for any purely socialist nation). I think to subscribe to liberalism you not only have multiple screws loose but you must be missing parts.  Big important ones.

                But they think the same thing about me. And if it’s just a matter of disagreeing can’t we work that out? Marriages do about half the time. I’m not sure it will be as easy for a nation. Both sides might have to compromise a few things and neither side is willing to right now, but that’s a whole other 1000 words. Or 1500. Sorry.

                At any rate, today I feel good that in spite of the media scouring the countryside to find schools banning the Pledge of Allegiance, three or four pro football goofs kneeling during the national anthem, and schools teaching the Koran but not the Bible, I think those may be isolated incidents that the media would like us to think are common so they can advance their agendas no matter how badly it backfires on them on a daily basis (see Georgia special election.) At least I hope so.

                If you don’t believe me go to a ballgame in California and get ready to have your jaw drop.