Merry Christmas, alright?

Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of year. It may be the favorite in spite of the cold and the extra 180’ of sidewalk I have to shovel on my corner lot when it snows. And I have always said Merry Christmas.

I knew there was some hulabaloo about whether you should say it or not but I largely ignored it because Christmas is Christmas and everybody seemed pretty cool about hearing Merry Christmas in spite of the big social firestorm the media was trying to create around it. Those idiots do that stuff all the time and after awhile, ho-hum, I just quit paying attention.

Then we elected Donald Trump president three times and he said he was going to make it okay to say Merry Christmas again and you’d have thought he drowned a puppy on national TV.

I get it. I don’t need the president or anybody else to tell me it’s ok to say Merry Christmas. Right or wrong I’ve been doing it all my life and now I’m old enough I don’t even care if you like it or not. Presumably, based on nearly 60 years of saying it to people and in return getting Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays back at me I’m going to assume that I just don’t know a lot of militant atheists or it’s pretty much ok with most people if you offer them a cheerful greeting of the season.

Are you guys on the left just pissed because Donald Trump said it?

There was an editorial this week by E.J. Dionne Jr. of the Washington Post Writers Group that ran in the Denver Post. I could tell it was an editorial because it ran on the editorial page under a big banner that said “Opinion.” That was about the only thing that made it different from stuff that routinely runs on the front page but I’m a pretty sharp guy and I picked up on it right away.

Anyway, E.J., who says some things Donald Trump says enrage him and others just get under his skin, apparently applied this open-minded template to the new president’s remarks about making it ok to say Merry Christmas again. It really bothered E.J. who pointed out that he has been free to say Merry Christmas his whole life and Donald Trump had by God better not tell him he is free to say Merry Christmas for the rest of it.

Believe it or not, I follow E.J. here (kind of), just not with all the rage. I just said I didn’t need anybody to tell me it was ok to do what I was already doing.

Where E.J. starts losing me is that in his world it is only ok to say Merry Christmas to people that he is certain are Christians and celebrate Christmas like he does. So ok, how do you know when you pass someone on the street what their religion and belief systems are to know if it’s ok to let them know you care enough about the fact they exist to wish them a Merry Christmas? Or is he ashamed or guilty about celebrating Christmas?  Which is why I just say Merry Christmas and breathe a sigh of relief when I don’t get shot. (Not really.)

Are we really that sensitive about it? I don’t care if you answer me with Happy Holidays. I wouldn’t care if you answered me with Happy Hanakuh. I really wouldn’t care if you wished me Happy Kwanza although I am woefully ignorant what sort of celebration that is. I would feel better about life if you just acknowledged my greeting and well wishes with one of your own that recognizes me as a human being at a time of year when I thought we were supposed to recognize each other as human beings.

I double swear I won’t get pissed off at your choice from the above options (or anything else that’s civil and pleasant) if you don’t get pissed off at mine.

Both sides are guilty here if there really are filthy, white (people, not snow) Christmas celebrators insisting you only acknowledge them with Merry Christmas or they’re going to do something to your car. But don’t make it ok to become enraged if I don’t say Happy Holidays instead. Geez, Louise, you guys. Have we gone crazy?

What did we do for 200 years until someone came up with the term “politically correct?”

Even if you’re an atheist can’t you celebrate spending time with family and spoiling each other with gifts and tribute that say those close to me are close to me for good reason? Is that really offensive to anyone?

E.J. goes on to say that his parents raised him to say Happy Hanakuh to his Jewish friends but he manages to avoid stating whether he in turn required they say Merry Christmas to him out of mutual respect. If you aren’t certain he says you should say Happy Holidays.  If you know for absolute positive that someone is a practicing Christian who drug a pagan symbol (a tree for goodness sakes) into their living room to wait for the guy Coca Cola invented in 1929 to drop down the chimney and scare the crap out of the kids—only then could you say Merry Christmas.

Ok, E.J. didn’t say all of that but c’mon.

It seems like the right and the left are going to have plenty of boisterous times in the coming four years to voice our opinions in an open-minded, civil, constructive manner (and you wonder if I can really believe in Santa Claus) without tearing each other apart over Christmas.

Sure I’m pissed nativity scenes are a no-no in public. I wish they weren’t.  I wouldn’t care though if the Jewish community put a menorah right next to a nativity scene.  I wouldn’t even care if you put a Kwanza thingy there too just cuz I’m curious what the hell that would be. Are we really all required to walk on eggshells to protect the atheists from seeing other people believe in stuff? I actually don’t think most of them truly mind, they just think we’re foolish.

I do think we have found one more thing over which to let the nut jobs rule the asylum.

So E.J., even you acknowledged in your story—sorry editorial column—that it is a season of peace and good will to all. Try worrying less about the fact that Donald Trump said it was ok and in a moment of tranquility and reflection just accept a Merry Christmas from all those people you will go back to wishing were dead on Monday.

I can’t believe there is argument about this.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Answer me with whatever greeting your heart tells you is ok.  As long as you are civil and sincere and don’t use the F word, I’m ok with it.

Merry Christmas.